Sosa Gets 50-Game Greenie Ban; Greenies Apparently Do Not Make You a Good Pitcher

Former Met punching bag Jorge Sosa is out for the rest of the season and will also be missing some time in 2009, after getting caught with amphetamines in his system this week.

Former Mets manager Willie Randolph announced that he will continue sending Sosa to the mound five times a week anyway, even though the Dominican hurler admitted he was only popping greenies to muster up enough energy to warm up and pitch every single game. Randolph also bristled at the notion that Sosa couldn't get lefties out and insisted that he had to stick with "his guy" until he "finds a way to get outs."

Mets general manager Omar Minaya announced his intention to sign Sosa to a two-year deal in the off-season, as you can never lock up too many Latino relievers with performance enhancing drug violations on their record.

Milwaukee Brewers middle reliever Guillermo Mota said nothing and began backpedaling when he saw a reporter sporting a mustache that reminded him of Mike Piazza.